Vulnerability

I've come to the realization (through observative friends and God) that I am not as good at being vulnerable as I once thought. Being vulnerable, putting your feelings thoughts and weaknesses out in open for all to see, is a big deal if you think about it. Asking for help has never been my habit. I like to have control and appear to have things together. Why? Because I do not want to worry anyone. Why would what I have to say make anyone worried? It wouldn't. But you see, I have been a worrier for a while, so I assume that anything I worry about will also make others worry. It's really a messy state of mind.

You know the funny thing? So many people I know have told me how "solid, unwavering and calm" I am. Yes, I'll admit, God helps me to keep pretty calm and many times I don't freak out about things that other people go berserk over. But solid?? From my perspective I am anything but!

Today  I am choosing to take a step in the right direction, towards vulnerability. It may seem simple to you, but this is what God is challenging me in. He did not save me to be afraid of anything!! He made me to be in community.

With that said, I will be vulnerable and ask for your prayers :)

1. I am finding it difficult to connect with anyone my own age. Many days I feel quite lonely, even when surrounded by loving people. I would really like to find a female friend in whom I can confide and feel comfortable.

2. My Spanish is getting better but there is still a lot I need to learn in order to understand conversations going on around me.

3. Grace and patience when teaching children. I love kids, in fact I feel more comfortable around kids than I do around adults. However there are always those days when it feels like no matter what I do, I can't get through to the kids that I teach.

4. Due to some uncertainties with my visa, I am not able to travel outside of Piura while I am here. This is not a huge deal, but it does limit what I can do. Please pray that all concerning my visa would go well without further complications.

I apologize for not letting you in on this earlier. I have been aware for some time that it is a necessity for missionaries to have support (not just in finances), but until now I was too shy to ASK for it in a specific way. If you read this, thank you :) If you are now praying, thank you :) You are so important to me and I cherish you!

Laura Murphree